Revised, Revision, Faliure?

Remember how I said (in the About The Bandit) section, that alot of things go unsaid? Well this post is one of them. And I'm about to say it: Revision (and by that, I do not mean changing from LB->RYN or vice versa or sleeve. I mean revision due to complications) . I feel like those who are ultimately successful tend to "hush" the fact that they ever slipped or had a port leak or something. They just flew through the journey like a walk in the park. While many do, some do have complications and they need to speak up! I'm one of them. There I said it! Ahh liberated? Not really. I tell other bandsters all the time. And yes even the new patient pre-ops I sometimes meet in my surgeons office. Why? Because they have a right to know. So if it happens to them, they don't feel alone, like a failure. And that I did not make it (semi?) on my journey with ease. Remember the band (like all the surgeries) is a tool and nothing more. A tool that can occasionally break down and need a quick patch up. This is reality. I promise i'm not trying to scare anyone away, but it should be spoken about. Why? Keep reading:

After a 1.5 yrs of being successful with the band and dropping a mere (note the sarcastic tone) 100lbs and feeling great, I started having symptoms. Bad symptoms. The type of symptoms where you know something is wrong, wrong with the band, yet you refuse to go get checked out for fear of loosing it. That was me for almost 3 months, before I finally caved and went to see the surgeon.

Side note: If there is 1 thing I learned from my band journey so far,  if something doesn't feel right, go see your doctor ASAP! Don't be like me and resist till the symptoms have gotten terribly worse. Don't fear loosing your band. I did. A lot. I still do. Even now when something is bothering me, I have do a reality check. If I am questioning anything, I force myself to go see the doctor. While I luckily have been able to get revisions and still have my band, I know there is always a chance I may loose it one day. But I won't be stranded, left out in the "desert" to die of hunger, of obesity. How do I know? Because I have a support team. My surgeon, the medical staff. If 1 day I had some sort of complication that required permanent removal of my band (quick gasp!), he would of course perform an alternative WLS. Of course not my 1st choice the band, but something. And if that day ever came, I know that if it needs to come out, there is good reason. Now I go back even if I question something wrong with the band. I say it like it is, nothing hidden. For the most part, my dr listens, and reassures me- everythings ok.

Back to what happened. So I went to my surgeon and told him how at night I had been vomiting in my sleep (yes, gross I know).  He sent me immediately for an espohgram, which is where I learned that I had severely slipped the band. So revised I was.

That was back in 07. Flash forward to this past August 2010. Where I suddenly found myself gaining weight...rapidly. So I went in for an adjustment. I should mention that although I had restriction, I found that old demon, the hunger returning. So much so, that I was eating so much, I frequently vomited. When I mentioned this to my Dr, again I was sent to get an esphogram. Turns out my esophagus was dilated (big surprise with all the vomiting I was doing). So instead of the fill I had come in for, I got completely emptied out. Frustrated, yes. Angry, yes. Hungry, HELL YES! Over the next 5 months I went in as often as I could to get filled. While my restriction was coming back, the hunger never left. With that, I gained about 40lbs by Dec.  Embarrassed by my weight gain, I started feeling that old resistance to see the dr come back. I gave in for about 2 weeks, deeming myself a complete lap band failure, an embarrassment to myself, to my family, to my support team.

Unable to button my winter jacket, fit into my jeans and the sudden emergence of family comments/weight jokes, I found that old feeling come back-depression. I needed help and in order to get it I would have to face my support team, as the failure I was. I made the call & got an appt ASAP. When I went to see my Dr, I came to a realization. He, nor any of my support team members had ever made me feel bad about my weight, not when I walked in as a 16 yo kid weighing 300lbs and not after gaining 40lbs. If anything they do they opposite and give me resilience. After calling me into the exam room, he looked at me and without looking at the chart or asking me to get on the scale he simply asked "What's going on"? I explained how although i'm getting fills my hunger is increasing even with the restriction. With that he sent me for yet again another esphogram (yes radiology knows me on a 1st name basis). 1 look at it and I was directly admitted to the hospital. Turns out, I had freak scar tissue form on the band and malposition it. I wasn't a failure!! There was a reason for my weight gain. If anything my only failure was not going back sooner.

wks ago have been feeling/doing FANTASTIC! Moral of the story? Complications happen, the band is a medical device, shit happens. If and when it happens to you or even if you just find yourself gaining weight, don't be embarrassed. You have a disease-obesity. Your support team knows this. DON'T be embarrassed to see them, they are only there to help, not judge. And finally you are not a FAILURE. Shit happens. To all of us.

Info on my band
I now have the AP  (advanced platform) band made by Allergan. I am not sure if I have the 10 or 14cc, will update once I find out.